044: Independence Jul04

044: Independence

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/44-Independence_Dependence.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:25 — 34.3MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSAs The United States of America celebrates its birthday, Jack Woloshun & Dr. Deb thought it a good time to discuss various types of dependence and independence we have in relationships. Related articles: Independence (companion article) Crap Do You Need A Life Coach? Mentioned by Jack: Book by Dr. Caroline Leaf: Think and Eat Yourself Smart: A Neuroscientific Approach to a Sharper Mind and Healthier...

Fear of Failing

I have a saying that people who never fail, never do anything. That’s because failing is inevitable. When I heard a student give a brilliant speech on the topic, I asked him to turn it into an article for you. Here you go. Here is Elijah Petty: We all have places we’re going, and dreams of who and what we want to grow to be, but most of us will fail before we get there – at least at first. The fear of this failure can cripple us by keeping us inside our comfort zone, when usually our dreams lie outside of it. Unfortunately, failure is unavoidable. Nobody gets everything right on the first try, but the way we treat our failures is crucial if we want to succeed in the end. We’re afraid of failure. It’s discouraging, and the higher the stakes are, the worse the letdown is. I speak from experience when I say nothing’s more demoralizing than spending months of hard work to make the most of an upcoming opportunity, and then showing up and doing my best only to find out that my best isn’t good enough. The fear of that demoralizing failure can sometimes stop us from trying – and also stop us from succeeding, because trying is the first step toward any goal. On the other hand, failure is one of the best opportunities to learn. When working on one of his inventions, Thomas Edison said, “Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t.” If you get something right, that’s great, but where do you go from there? It isn’t always obvious how...

Map Your Progress

Looking for a life hack to help you reach a goal? Check this out. I love sharing resources as well as ideas with you. This time I have a GREAT one! Map Your Progress is a new initiative to help you accomplish your goals by coloring your progress. You may remember the old thermometer posters that were sometimes used to show the amount of money raised for a project. This is like that, but much more personal and much more creative. It all started when Californian Amy Jones got a clear message from her accountant that it was time to clean up her financial mess. She had carried debt on credit cards for much too long, and it was time to pay them off. (Funny how easy it is to put charges on a credit card and so hard to get it off!) As a tool to help her stay focused and encouraged, Amy decided to turn her knack for doodling (in boring meetings and conference calls) into something practical to help her abolish her debt. Using an unused canvas that was laying around, she drew swirls to represent specific increments ($100). Then each time she paid that much towards debt, she would color in the appropriate number of swirls. Brilliant! After a few months, the drawing actually built up Amy’s confidence. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, she actually believed she could eliminate her debt. And she did it, more than $26,000 worth! Wow. I used a similar technique in the past to mark off chapters of the bible I read in a year. But this is way more fun than little boxes. This is creative! And it’s something you can keep in front of you all the time. What is your goal? To save for...

022: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Feb07

022: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy...

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/22-Kristy_Self-fulfilling_prophecy_.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 25:41 — 23.5MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSAssistant Communication Professor, Kristy Callihan, talks about the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy and how it affects our success in life. The process of envisioning success or failure determines what we will do—what steps we put or don’t put in place in order to do well. This isn’t some new-age notion or hocus pocus/touchy-feeling expectation, but rather a reality in what we set ourselves up for. In the episode we made reference to these articles on GetControlOfYourLife.org: Rezlootions Know Thyself Watch Kristy’s YouTube video on Self-Fulfilling Prophecy...

020: Growing A Successful Life Jan13

020: Growing A Successful Life...

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/20-Regina_-_Growing_A_Successful_Life.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 53:00 — 48.5MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSThis is a great podcast to kick off the new year. Dr. Regina Lewis & Dr. Deb discuss strategies for growing a successful life. What is the difference between motivation and inspiration? How do you make big goals achievable? How do you push through the dips? We discuss developing a lifestyle of success, not one-hit wonders. “Whenever you make it to the top of the mountain, it just makes it easier to see the next summit.” – La Vonne Neal, Northern Illinois University Check out Dr. Lewis’s website here. Read about Dr. Lewis’s body building competitions. We mentioned, The Dip, by Seth Godin. It’s a great little book about handling walls you encounter in life. The key is knowing when to surrender and when to push...

003: Living a Balanced & Healthy Life Aug27

003: Living a Balanced & Healthy Life...

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/GCOYL-003.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 20:10 — 18.5MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSIn this episode, Dr. Deb visits with Liz Cochrane about personal adjustments Liz made to live a balanced and healthy life. Liz and her husband Steve lived in India and Nepal for 26 years, developing a Christian non-profit from just ten people to over 2,500 staff working on over 200 ministries and projects. They now live in the U.S. working with ACE Development to fight global poverty issues. Visit their website at http://www.acedevelopmentfund.org. One of the resources we mention is Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the two halves of life. You can order it by clicking on the...

What Do You See?

Before I bought my car, I really never noticed Kia Souls on the road. In fact, cars were just cars. However, once I started car shopping, I seemed to noticed everything on the road. I noticed the similarities and I noticed the differences. And I really noticed the Kia Souls. We tend to see what we’re looking for. We are exposed to so much stimuli, there is no way we can take it all in. Just think of the millions of objects and people you see while just driving down a road. But we rarely see them. We have selective perception. That means we only notice what is important to us, is entertaining, or meets a particular need (like when I was car shopping). I will write later on the incredibly important aspect of perception in our lives. Perhaps when you were a kid you took long road trips with your family and played a game out of spotting particular objects. Suddenly whatever you were looking for was everywhere! We are just kids grown tall. We tend to see what we’re looking for. What are you looking for? Conflict? Comparisons? Criticisms? Or are you looking for acts of kindness? Gratefulness? Creativity? Beauty? We find what we look for. If we do the same things over and over, we tend to see the same things. I heard about a man who everyday took a different route between his home and office. That way he was sure to see different things on a regular basis. That was a recommendation when I took a creative communication class. Do things differently. Take a different route. Brush your teeth with the other hand. When we expose ourselves to new situations, we have the chance to see new things and think...

Emotional Intelligence...

What makes for a successful life? That is a central question behind this blog, as well as many research studies, books, leadership seminars and general conversation. For years educators and managers focused on IQ—how SMART people are. But since the early 1990s, another quotient has arisen—EQ—emotional quotient. Instead of measuring mental capacities, EQ measures social capacities. It refers to one’s ability to identify and manage emotions, both in themselves and others. It has to do with our emotional responses to various life experiences such as stress, challenges, grief, conflict and diverse social situations. If you have a high EQ, you are able to recognize your emotional state and that of others. You know how to engage others in ways that draw them to yourself rather than alienate them. You use your emotions to achieve success, built healthy relationships, achieve goals and lead a fulfilling life. If you have a low EQ, you become easily overwhelmed by situations, are unable to read other’s emotions, and find your goals sabotaged by emotions you can’t control. You can take a short test to measure your EQ. The good news is that no matter how developed our EQ, we can all grow in our social and emotional learning (SEL). We can develop emotional and social skills. SEL programs in schools have helped raise both academic achievement and social behavior. According to a lead EQ researcher, Daniel Goleman, schools that teach SEL experience better attendance, see grades improve by an average of 38% and report misbehavior drops of 28%. Learning to be in touch with one’s emotions and know when, where and how to adequately express them, is key for life success and emotional well being. In his book Emotional Intelligence, Goleman wrote that preliminary science is showing the...

Holidays

A holiday is a special day set apart to celebrate something. Originally from the words, Holy Day, holidays have their roots in religious celebrations. Today we celebrate holidays that mark national and political days, birthdays, seasons, and remembrances as well as religious traditions. July 4th is a holiday in the United States, a day to remember our declaration of independence from England. It is celebrated with particular foods that usually include backyard grilling, camping, concerts and fireworks. Mostly it involves being with friends and family. Hindus celebrate Holi, a spring festival associated with Krishna where people throw colored talc on each other. Muslims celebrate Ramadan, a month of fasting during the day and feasting at night. Jews commemorate Passover and remember the time when God delivered them from Egypt. Christians mark Christmas and Easter, seasons associated with the arrival and sacrifice of Jesus the Christ. These holidays make us pause to remember and reflect on important things, connect us to God, and restore our souls. We need holidays. We need to remember. Sometimes we need special days to make us cease from our labors and spend time with people. We need holidays to stop and smell the roses. The English talk about “going on holiday,” what Americans would call “going on vacation.” Whatever you call them, we need them. Sundays are holidays we get to celebrate every week! I came to the realization a few years ago that Sundays are a gift. As much as I’d like to believe it, I do not have endless energy. I need days off. I need days to do nothing. If I choose to work on Sundays and other holidays, I am looking a gift horse in the mouth; I’m just being stupid. I have a new philosophy...

How I Made $34,000 Without Really Trying Jun27

How I Made $34,000 Without Really Trying

There are many important factors in financial success. But for sure there are 2 key ones. Income and expenses. One comes in; the other goes out. Generate income. Dave Ramsey calls the need for more income getting a bigger shovel. You need more than you live on. You don’t need to live within your means, you need to live below your means if you are to save for emergencies and old age.  Life always costs more than we anticipate. Spend less. That means not getting everything we want (saying no to yourself and the kids), not eating out as much, and looking for bargains. Some people clip coupons. Some make things themselves. There are many ways to save, and those little savings can add up to big ones. Recently I’ve been able to save BIG with a few minor changes, netting me over $34,000! 1. I cut the cable, well the DirecTV satellite service. Instead of $65/month for TV (I had the lowest package), I am now the proud owner of a digital antenna ($20 used from Amazon) and a Roku box ($68 refurbished Roku 2XS from Amazon). In addition to live TV through the air, I get TV and movies through Amazon prime  (for $79/year) and Netflix streaming for $8/month ($96/year). Savings=$605 per year. 2. I refinanced my house, lowering my interest rate from 5% to 3.75%, saving me almost $200/month or $2400 per year. Over the life of the loan, depending on how fast I pay it off, I will have saved at least $36,000. 3. I shopped for different car and home insurance. I worked with an insurance broker who shopped around with different companies and got me great rates (and better coverage on my house). Savings=$421/year. Just these 3 relatively simple steps will save me about $3,426 this next year! That’s $34,250 over 10 years! That money changed from an outflow to an inflow! I made over $34,000 without really trying! That is money that can be saved, given to charity or used toward other priorities. It will certainly more than cover my student loans. What is your time worth? I probably spent a maximum of 3 hours shopping for new home and auto insurance. If I save $421 this year, then I my efforts paid $140/hour. Not bad wages! How can you save money? Resist the temptation to go with the status quo. Don’t be afraid of change. For example, most people stick with the same insurance company because it’s comfortable, even if they think they can save money elsewhere. You can’t be afraid to escape your little comfort zone and explore. The savings can be huge! Then you can pay off debt, give, or save for the things you will need or want later. Sit down and make a list of potential ways to save money. Here are some ideas: Do you really need a home phone as well as a cell? Don’t keep the landline just because you’ve always had it! Would it be worth joining a warehouse club to save on groceries and other expenses? Cut the grass yourself instead of paying someone else. Unless your legs are broken or you’re very old, can’t you do it yourself? Don’t buy a new car. Whats wrong with the one you have? I bought my Acura new in 1990 and am still driving it 240,000+ miles later! Think of the goals you could achieve if you didn’t have financial pressures! I promise it will SO be worth your...

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