Top 10-#9 People Are Irreplaceable...

When you enter or leave a room, the room is different. That’s because you bring things no one else can bring. You bring the totality of who you are to every situation: your history, personality, gifts, passions, spirit–everything! You communicate you, and you do it all the time. In our business world of hiring and firing, one can get the impression that just any body will do. But’s it’s just not true. When you fill a position, you fill it like no other. And when you leave, your position really goes with you. Nobody will ever do the job like you do it. There may be close to 7 billion people in the world. But each one is incredibly valuable and unique. No one will ever take your place. You bring something to the world that no one else brings. That’s why figuring out who you are and what you bring are so important. If you don’t bring who you are and give the gifts only you can give, the world will miss out. That’s because you are irreplaceable.   The photo is of my dad, Marv Buenting, known to his grandchildren as,...

047: Gratitude Aug21

047: Gratitude

https://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/medeor.co/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/47-Gratitude-with-Jeannette-.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 25:38 — 23.5MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSJeannette Slater & Dr. Deb discuss a cure to many ills and stresses: gratitude! The episode is full of reminders and perspective that we often lose as we experience everyday life. Jeannette read Living in Gratitude: A Journey That Will Change Your Life by Arrien Angeles, internalized it and added her own reflections and experiences to discuss this important topic.   Check out Angeles books and try using the table above for a self-reflective exercise. Angeles Arrien. (2013). Living in Gratitude: A Journey That Will Change Your Life Angeles Arrien. (2013). Living in Gratitude: Mastering the Art of Giving Thanks Every Day, A Month-by-Month Guide Angeles Arrien. (2006). The Second Half of Life: Opening the Eight Gates of...

Independence

As The United States celebrates its Independence Day, I thought it fitting to consider various forms of dependency. Dependence is defined as the state of needing something or someone else. Like it or not, we are dependent on each other for all kinds of things. We need acceptance, love and affection from others because we are social beings. A newborn child left alone without touch will die. We are dependent on each other to follow socially accepted behavior like stopping at red lights and contributing to common things like roads and schools. In relationships, we are dependent on each other to be there to share the workload, make a meaningful contribution and live up to our commitments. Healthy dependence is a really, really positive thing. Independence is freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. When the 13 American colonies were no longer satisfied with British rule (and taxation without representation), they sought a divorce. It’s not unlike the recent decision by Britain to pull out of the European Union to preserve its sovereignty. It’s not unlike states in human development. Two that come to mind are the terrible twos. I think the twos are called terrible because children seek independence from their parents and other caretakers because they are coming into their own. They are clumsy and awkward, but they are determined to get around! Unfortunately, they don’t yet recognize the limits of social and character boundaries, so tend to severely test those around them. The other significant stage of finding independence IS, of course, during the teenage years. Children are transitioning to adulthood with changing bodies, increased responsibilities and fewer apron strings. Yet their raging hormones and lack of fully developed prefrontal cortexes (decision-making that fully grasps consequences)...

Know Thyself

How well do you know yourself? We tend to have a view of ourselves we think is accurate and complete. However, it’s just not true.

Messy part 2

In the last article, I discussed something we all know: life is messy. We sometimes don’t want to face people or problems we can’t relate to, and we are likely to RUN Forrest RUN! This time I want to write about internal messy. Yea, sometimes we want to run from that also! We all have stuff, baggage, issues, shit, whatever you want to call it. It’s the ugly part of our human experience, brought on by personal failures, warped views of reality, skewed perceptions, hurts from others, the dark side of our cultures, and a lot of other factors. It’s so easy to go through life and just coast…to not really deal with our “stuff.” It seems we tend to grow and transcend in two ways: Experiencing profound, unconditional love Suffering–facing and working through our pain (facing it head on and dealing with it!) It is the later we address here. It takes much courage to engage in deep self-evaluation. We might be afraid of what we will find. Or we are tempted to run away from the pain. Who likes pain? Given the choice between an ice cream and a root canal, healthy people will usually choose the ice cream, unless of course they have a lot of tooth pain and are desperate to get help. I was talking with someone recently who discussed his experience with addiction and dysfunction. He moved to get away from his pain, but of course, the pain came with him. He tried avoiding his issues, going around them and getting in front of him, but he finally realize he had to go THROUGH them. It’s what I heard Father Richard Rohr describes as: Construction – how you develop our life, only to realize some of it wasn’t working...

025: Identity Apr06

025: Identity

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/25-Identify_with_MJ.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 25:49 — 23.6MB)Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSIn this important episode, Dr. MelindaJoy Mingo uses her own journey to talk about the need to find your own identity. A subject she’s passionate about, MJ says, “Identity is not what people call you; it’s what you answer to.”  During the conversation, MJ shared several quotes and resources: Frederick Douglas: “I prefer to be true to myself even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false and incur my own abhorrence or hatred.” Phillip Zombardo’s prison experiment conducted at Stanford University in 1971: http://www.prisonexp.org Documentary about Iowa Teacher Jane Eliott’s “Blue Eyes Brown Eyes” study: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQAmdZvKf6M Max Lucado’s children’s book, You Are Special: A Story for Everyone. Find the paperback on Amazone here.  or the Kindle edition here. Memorable quotes: “Sometimes it’s not a pedicure we need, it’s not a manicure; we just need a cure.” “We are like all others; we’re human beings.” “We’re like some others” (that’s our learned culture). “I’m like none other.” It’s not what people call you. It’s what you choose to answer...

Myers-Briggs 2

So now you’ve taken the Myers-Briggs test. If not, click here to take a free online version (also known as the Jung Typology test).

The Lost Art of Self-Reflection

For most of history, people got up with the sun and went to bed with it. Their worlds were very small, about as far as they could walk or ride a horse in a day. They heard the birds chirp. They were familiar with the stars. They were comfortable with silence and had time to think. That was then. This is now. In our busy world, we are always surrounded by sounds, demands, pressures and obligations. Silence and solitude are difficult to find. Being comfortable with our own thoughts is seemingly impossible. Everybody wants a piece of us. Before television, cars, electricity, billboards and city life (not to mention email, Facebook and all the overstimulation of the digital life), it must have been easier to engage in self-reflection. At least there weren’t so many distractions. I recently wrote about our need for holidays; we need the special ones as well as the  weekly ones some people call Sabbath. Those times give us pause to reflect on our lives. As a lay life coach, I pose four questions to new clients to help them reflect on where they’d like to grow. I encourage you to answer these questions for yourself. Also click the Rate Your Life link and score yourself on six life dimensions. As you reflect, you may learn some things about yourself and embark on a journey of growth, personal development and positive change. Questions: What are 1 or 2 things I think should be on the agenda for my life right now? If I could change one thing in my life right now, what would it be? What are the obstacles that are holding me back from reaching my potential in this season of my life? When I think ahead to 3 years from now, how do I want my life to be different?  ...