Independence

As The United States celebrates its Independence Day, I thought it fitting to consider various forms of dependency. Dependence is defined as the state of needing something or someone else. Like it or not, we are dependent on each other for all kinds of things. We need acceptance, love and affection from others because we are social beings. A newborn child left alone without touch will die. We are dependent on each other to follow socially accepted behavior like stopping at red lights and contributing to common things like roads and schools. In relationships, we are dependent on each other to be there to share the workload, make a meaningful contribution and live up to our commitments. Healthy dependence is a really, really positive thing. Independence is freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. When the 13 American colonies were no longer satisfied with British rule (and taxation without representation), they sought a divorce. It’s not unlike the recent decision by Britain to pull out of the European Union to preserve its sovereignty. It’s not unlike states in human development. Two that come to mind are the terrible twos. I think the twos are called terrible because children seek independence from their parents and other caretakers because they are coming into their own. They are clumsy and awkward, but they are determined to get around! Unfortunately, they don’t yet recognize the limits of social and character boundaries, so tend to severely test those around them. The other significant stage of finding independence IS, of course, during the teenage years. Children are transitioning to adulthood with changing bodies, increased responsibilities and fewer apron strings. Yet their raging hormones and lack of fully developed prefrontal cortexes (decision-making that fully grasps consequences)...

010: Rate Your Life Oct14

010: Rate Your Life

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/10-Rate_Your_Life-2.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:47 — 12.6MB)We all need tools to help us measure our lives and track our progress. The Wheel of Life is a great tool that helps you rate career, health & fitness, money, relationships, personal development and spirituality. In this episode, life coaches Jeannette Slater and Dr. Deb discuss the usefulness of the wheel as a tool to rate six areas of your your life. We discuss how it has been helpful in our own lives as well as some of our coaching clients. Click here to access the wheel. Print it out and spend a few minutes to reflect on these aspects of your life. Rate each one by circling a number between 1 and 10. Then draw a line to connect all the circled numbers. It’s very difficult to make actual goals when you don’t know where you’re starting or where you want to...

004: Life Coaching Sep03

004: Life Coaching

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/GCOYL-004.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:11 — 21.2MB)In this episode, Dr. Deb and Jeannette Slater talk about the power of life coaching. A life coach is one who comes alongside you to help you clarify what your goals are. Then the coach helps you discern the next steps to reach your goals. They’re also there to cheer you on as you live out your plan. Coaching is all about helping you take what you hope for, dream, or imagine and making it become a reality. Jennette has logged more than 1700 hours coaching individuals and teams to be more effective at accomplishing their goals since 1995. Dr. Deb has recently completed a 1-year coach training program. You can read more about life coaching here. You can also request a coach through Get Control Of Your Life by clicking...

The Podcast Is Here!

The Get Control Of Your Life Podcast is here! It includes conversations between Dr. Deb and all sorts of fascinating people who have worked hard to get control of their lives. They bring expertise in topics as diverse as volunteerism, exercise, life coaching, developing a vibrant spiritual life, and tools for success. We also have a cool intro by a real British guy! Not sure what a podcast is? It’s like radio that you stream or download from the internet. The cool thing about a podcast is you can listen to podcasts about very specific topics you’re interested in. Popular apps and services allow you to access podcasts about topics you are interested in. When you subscribe, you are automatically notified whenever new episodes are released. The Get Control Of Your Life podcast is about growing a strong and fruitful life. It’s available on this site. Click on the top right item “Podcast”on the menu or just click here. The podcast is available FREE to Mac and iOs (iPhone/iPad/iPod) (and even PC) users from the iTunes Store:  It’s available to Android and PC users via Stitcher. Download the free app here or listen directly from the Stitcher website. The podcast is completely free. No one will ask you for anything except to reflect on the content (produced to inspire you and give you resources to grow a strong and fruitful life). Have a listen. If you like it, tell a friend. And please rate the podcast and leave a comment; it will help our ranking and make it easier for others to find us. Image designed by Rita Burke of http://www.burkepromotions.com with assistance from Kristina Storey http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/kristina-storey.html Many, many thanks to the coolest techie guy I know, Rodney Blevins, for his many hours to make this podcast happen. Thanks also to our...

The Lost Art of Self-Reflection

For most of history, people got up with the sun and went to bed with it. Their worlds were very small, about as far as they could walk or ride a horse in a day. They heard the birds chirp. They were familiar with the stars. They were comfortable with silence and had time to think. That was then. This is now. In our busy world, we are always surrounded by sounds, demands, pressures and obligations. Silence and solitude are difficult to find. Being comfortable with our own thoughts is seemingly impossible. Everybody wants a piece of us. Before television, cars, electricity, billboards and city life (not to mention email, Facebook and all the overstimulation of the digital life), it must have been easier to engage in self-reflection. At least there weren’t so many distractions. I recently wrote about our need for holidays; we need the special ones as well as the  weekly ones some people call Sabbath. Those times give us pause to reflect on our lives. As a lay life coach, I pose four questions to new clients to help them reflect on where they’d like to grow. I encourage you to answer these questions for yourself. Also click the Rate Your Life link and score yourself on six life dimensions. As you reflect, you may learn some things about yourself and embark on a journey of growth, personal development and positive change. Questions: What are 1 or 2 things I think should be on the agenda for my life right now? If I could change one thing in my life right now, what would it be? What are the obstacles that are holding me back from reaching my potential in this season of my life? When I think ahead to 3 years from now, how do I want my life to be different?  ...