044: Independence Jul04

044: Independence

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/44-Independence_Dependence.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:25 — 34.3MB)As The United States of America celebrates its birthday, Jack Woloshun & Dr. Deb thought it a good time to discuss various types of dependence and independence we have in relationships. Related articles: Independence (companion article) Crap Do You Need A Life Coach? Mentioned by Jack: Book by Dr. Caroline Leaf: Think and Eat Yourself Smart: A Neuroscientific Approach to a Sharper Mind and Healthier...

Independence

As The United States celebrates its Independence Day, I thought it fitting to consider various forms of dependency. Dependence is defined as the state of needing something or someone else. Like it or not, we are dependent on each other for all kinds of things. We need acceptance, love and affection from others because we are social beings. A newborn child left alone without touch will die. We are dependent on each other to follow socially accepted behavior like stopping at red lights and contributing to common things like roads and schools. In relationships, we are dependent on each other to be there to share the workload, make a meaningful contribution and live up to our commitments. Healthy dependence is a really, really positive thing. Independence is freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. When the 13 American colonies were no longer satisfied with British rule (and taxation without representation), they sought a divorce. It’s not unlike the recent decision by Britain to pull out of the European Union to preserve its sovereignty. It’s not unlike states in human development. Two that come to mind are the terrible twos. I think the twos are called terrible because children seek independence from their parents and other caretakers because they are coming into their own. They are clumsy and awkward, but they are determined to get around! Unfortunately, they don’t yet recognize the limits of social and character boundaries, so tend to severely test those around them. The other significant stage of finding independence IS, of course, during the teenage years. Children are transitioning to adulthood with changing bodies, increased responsibilities and fewer apron strings. Yet their raging hormones and lack of fully developed prefrontal cortexes (decision-making that fully grasps consequences)...

Light Bulbs

“Imagine yourself sitting in a dimly lit room, reading a book with wires connected to your brain, and every time you understood a new concept or made connections between the book and your personal life, light bulbs literally lit up.” So wrote one of my students after reading a particular textbook chapter in my interpersonal communication class. I thought, what a great analogy that perfectly illustrates my topic! How long has it been since you’ve had a light bulb go on in your head? How long has it been since you had a new thought, asked a question, or ventured into a novel experience? I think we are always growing. That can mean many things: Growing up Growing mature Growing fat Growing old Growing younger Growing stale Growing cobwebs You get my drift. So even if you’re not growing as a person, you are growing somewhere, even if it’s towards decay, rigidity and death. I think a central law of the universe is that growing is good. That is if it’g going towards better. Every time you have an “ah-ha” moment, something in your mind and soul lights up. You discover something you didn’t know before, see something from a new angle, or generally get transformed. Imagine sitting in a dimly lit room, when suddenly, your personhood lights up. Everything in you says YES! Different analogies have been used to describe this experience throughout the ages. Jesus used the language of “born again” to describe a transition from what was to what can be. Though the term has been bastardized in recent years, the concept behind it is very real; it’s about opening one’s mind and heart to new things. Its about getting unstuck and embracing growth. It’s like being born again! Some people...

Try This!

A moving car is much easier to steer than a parked one. So says the cliché about moving forward in life. But personally, I think it’s a good one. While some of us thrive on change, others of us would rather get a root canal. That said, it seems all of use can be resistant, closed or even defensive to opportunities for change. Our egos can get in the way. I firmly believe we all need outside influences to get us moving. On our own we get stuck. We resist. We balk. Oh how often we miss out because we remain in our comfortable lives. We hang out with the same people, eat the same foods, watch the same TV shows. I think the following from Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr, is worth sharing. “The Dalai Lama said it well: “Every change of mind is first of all a change of heart.” I would add: ‘Every change of heart is soon a change of mind.’ This is the urgently needed work of mature spirituality…Many folks over the years, even very good-willed people, have read and listened to my presentations of the Gospel yet have actually done very little–in terms of lifestyle changes, economic or political rearrangements, or naming their own ego or shadow selves. After all, “Isn’t church about believing ideas to be true or false? Isn’t religion about attending services?” Most people just listen to my ideas and judge them to be true or false. They either “like” or “don’t like” them. But thinking about ideas or making judgments about what is moral or immoral seldom leads to a radically new consciousness. Transformative education is not asking you to believe or disbelieve in any doctrines or dogmas. Rather it is challenging you to “Try...

Stop Saying You’re Fine!...

According to motivational speaker, Mel Robbins, one of the worst words in the English language is, “fine!” We get stuck and fail to move forward because we tell ourselves (and others) we are fine. We fail to lose weight, make more money or all the other things we never achieve. The solution, says Robbins, is to stop screwing yourself over and activate your energy. It’s simple, she says, but not easy. Watch this very liberating and encouraging TED Talk video to help you get unstuck. Robbins principles? Force yourself: Out of your head Past your feelings Outside your comfort zone Practice the 5 second rule (act within 5 seconds of getting an idea)             You can purchase Mel Robbin’s book, Stop Saying You’re Fine here. Royalty-free Stop image by Pat Herman. Retrieved...

004: Life Coaching Sep03

004: Life Coaching

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/GCOYL-004.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:11 — 21.2MB)In this episode, Dr. Deb and Jeannette Slater talk about the power of life coaching. A life coach is one who comes alongside you to help you clarify what your goals are. Then the coach helps you discern the next steps to reach your goals. They’re also there to cheer you on as you live out your plan. Coaching is all about helping you take what you hope for, dream, or imagine and making it become a reality. Jennette has logged more than 1700 hours coaching individuals and teams to be more effective at accomplishing their goals since 1995. Dr. Deb has recently completed a 1-year coach training program. You can read more about life coaching here. You can also request a coach through Get Control Of Your Life by clicking...

The Podcast Is Here!

The Get Control Of Your Life Podcast is here! It includes conversations between Dr. Deb and all sorts of fascinating people who have worked hard to get control of their lives. They bring expertise in topics as diverse as volunteerism, exercise, life coaching, developing a vibrant spiritual life, and tools for success. We also have a cool intro by a real British guy! Not sure what a podcast is? It’s like radio that you stream or download from the internet. The cool thing about a podcast is you can listen to podcasts about very specific topics you’re interested in. Popular apps and services allow you to access podcasts about topics you are interested in. When you subscribe, you are automatically notified whenever new episodes are released. The Get Control Of Your Life podcast is about growing a strong and fruitful life. It’s available on this site. Click on the top right item “Podcast”on the menu or just click here. The podcast is available FREE to Mac and iOs (iPhone/iPad/iPod) (and even PC) users from the iTunes Store:  It’s available to Android and PC users via Stitcher. Download the free app here or listen directly from the Stitcher website. The podcast is completely free. No one will ask you for anything except to reflect on the content (produced to inspire you and give you resources to grow a strong and fruitful life). Have a listen. If you like it, tell a friend. And please rate the podcast and leave a comment; it will help our ranking and make it easier for others to find us. Image designed by Rita Burke of http://www.burkepromotions.com with assistance from Kristina Storey http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/kristina-storey.html Many, many thanks to the coolest techie guy I know, Rodney Blevins, for his many hours to make this podcast happen. Thanks also to our...

001: Getting Beyond The Zombie Life Aug13

001: Getting Beyond The Zombie Life...

http://media.blubrry.com/gcoyl/p/media.medeor.co/gcoyl/GCOYL-001.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:13 — 13.0MB)In this premier episode, we bring a conversation between Dr. Deb and lifecoach Jeannette Slater. We all get stuck and start living life on auto-pilot. In a sense, we start acting like zombie. This dialogue is a call to wake up from the zombie life, try new things, and breathe new life into your...